I've wallowed and pouted

I really thought it was going to work out this time... or did I? I've been trying to go back to ORU since last spring and I really thought I could make my way back there. I researched all different forms of financial aid, did everything thing I knew to. I called the school on a weekly basis, and I even went as far to write letters to over 40 businesses to try to get scholarship money. What a disappointment it was when I received ONE response. ONE. Talk about a low point. This whole time I'd prayed just to be in God's will. I prayed that if I wasn't supposed to go back, that my desire to be there would fade. It didn't.

Meanwhile things at UCO really started to workout for me. Last semester I got a second job tutoring on campus, and I found out I will be able to graduate a semester early. My professors have been accommodating, and I really do like my classes. My heart still wanted to be back in Tulsa though. Commuting 40 minutes one way, everyday, isn't exactly fun. I haven't really made many relationships here. It doesn't feel like the college experience I thought it would. So yes, basically I'm a big pout, and wallowed a lot in my lameness.

Obviously things did not work out for ORU, and I'm starting my last spring semester at UCO. It's not what I wanted, BUT GUESS WHAT? I really do feel peaceful about being here. I still get upset, but I realize that God does everything for a reason. I know I am here at this time for a purpose. There must be someone that needs me here? Maybe I am here to make a difference somehow? I may not see God's purpose in this right now, and that's ok. I know it is the best for me to be here, and to have purpose in each day. I'm trying to forget about the "what-if's", I'm trying to enjoy this time I have here. It's not easy and I don't really get it, but I hope that I can still do what I am here to do, and hopefully have fun along the way.

God's plan may not be what we expected, it might not always seem like the fun thing, and it certainly won't always be easy. BUT being in God's will is more important. He will give us the peace we need, and He will always get us through.

Personality type Q

I'm not really sure what my "personality type" is, but I know that I like to make plans. It is not uncommon for Derek and I to get in the car and I start giving the strategy for accomplishing our tasks, and where to go first, and how much time we should spend there. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets annoyed by this :) but It's just the way I am.

Even though I love to make plans, I am starting to realize this: THEY PROBABLY ARE NOT GOING TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN THAT WAY. Life has been proving to be full of twists and turns... and giant bumps and dips too. I tend to get stressed out by this, but I'm working on just giving it all to God, and asking for HIS plan in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I am still making plans, just trying to be open to changes in them. So here is my current plan: I'm at UCO and this semester has started out really well. Im enjoying working in the Public Speaking Lab, and at the bank. It is my dream to return to ORU and finish my degree there. Im "PLANNING" to transfer there this Spring semester and graduate next Spring! I have a long ways to go to make this plan a reality though. I am totally trusting God, and I know his will will be done (haha).

* Here is a happy wacky thought to share with you: I love it when my puppy wakes up in the morning and his beard is all smooshed from sleeping all night. IT'S SO CUTE!

Sooooo here I go...

Hola,
I've never blogged before, and I haven't read an instruction manuel on blogging, so I have good excuses if this stinks! Let's see where to begin? I'm sure most of you know I am dating the most wonderful guy ever Mr. Derek Fowler! We have been together for 2 and 3/12 years... YAY!

I recently had a birthday and I'm now 21. Unfortunately in the past month I have had numerous people think I am 15.... hmm??? They say I will be thankful one day, and yes I will be so long as my looks keep lagging behind into my older years. My recent birthday reminded me of a story when Derek and I first started dating. It was getting close to my birthday and I was going to be turning 19. I get REALLY excited about my birthdays REALLY early. Derek was trying to be excited for me and exclaimed "Yay you will be 18!". It was then that Derek found out I was actually 6 months older than him, and I was turning 19. I think he felt a little disappointed in the fact, but hey he can just think of me as a cougar (that's supposed to be hott right?).

Life this past year has been absolutley CRAZY. I've been on a rollercoaster that keeps doing loops and won't let me catch my breath. I think I've arrived at that stage in life where I'm like a "real" person and life's decisions/ situations are just a little harder. A lot of you know that his past year I got sick and was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. I struggled for a long time having major joint swelling, running fevers, getting chills and soaking my sheets in sweat. I was in a lot of pain, even just flipping on a lightswitch brought unbelievable pain. I got some relief from steroid drugs, but they would bring other side effects, and weren't long-term. I went from doctor to specialists and so on trying to find out what was wrong and get some real relief. After struggling for 6 long months, I found a doctor who was able to get me on some medicines that have helped TREMENDOUSLY, and I am finally feeling good again! I thank God for keeping me in the palm of his hand through all of this. While I know my body and life won't ever be as it was before, I know that God has provided these medicines to help me resume my life, and I thank Him for that. HE IS SOOO FAITHFUL, even through the roughest of times!

Oh there is so much more to say, but this is already a little lengthy... :). Thanks for reading if you have! I can't wait to meet with you again my friends!